Friday, January 9, 2015

Lesson 2: Being Transparent

Lesson 2: Being Transparent

It's hard to not hear the word transparent now a days. It's everywhere. Every commercial or in depth news programs have been talking about companies wanting to be transparent to their employees and businesses wanting to be transparent to their customers. Journalist want to be transparent to those whose stories they cover. For some the word transparent may be a new thing, but it is a term that has been used in the therapeutic setting for quite some time.

Webster's defines the word "transparent" as:
: able to be seen through : easy to notice or understand : honest and open : not secretive
When we think of becoming transparent, the notion of being open and honest with those we love and care for may come to mind first. Often times we overlook the most important person of all to be open and honest with...ourselves. Let's be clear, without being honest with ourselves about things how are we to ever freely show who we are to others. 
For this lesson I want you to think about yourself in a nonjudgmental manner. Are you truly transparent? Do people see the real you? Do they know who you are? Your fears. What are the things that you are afraid if others saw you would be judged?

For me this lesson was a hard one and one that I wanted to work on throughout this year. I make it appear that I have it all undercontrol with being a mother, but inside I am struggle with making it work. Some of the times I don't say things because I don't want people to "get the wrong idea" or misinterpret what I mean. Isn't it silly that we are our worse critics and we are the ones we judge the most. Should we be our own cheerleaders. 
For my page I decided to use a play on the word transparent to actually use an image transfer method as my starting point. I printed out a picture of me (I used the most recent one I had and let me tell you, this year I will take more pictures of myself. I had a hard time finding one, but that is another story altogether). I printed the image on wax paper and rubbed it on two sheets of card. I cut the first image in half as I wanted to convey the message of what the journaling in the front was what people saw on the outside but when you opened it up was what I was in the inside. I stepped out of my comfort zone and used a new technique with the wax paper transfer and I really liked how it came out. For me this page really was a therapeutic journey. I really dug deep into what the real me is saying for sure and was Insecure with a capital "I". It drives my whole day and life. I worry about how I am judged, liked, viewed as a woman and most importantly a mother. It really can be overwhelming at times and I know it is an area that I need to work on. It is a small "shift" in the way that I think that will begin to facilitate change. I know this. I just need to start it. 

So will you join me. Be honest in your pages or whatever medium you chose to work in. We will work on what we really our on the inside in later lessons. 

Take care. 

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