Saturday, April 5, 2014
When I was pregnant, I was comfortable for the first time in a long time. I ate whatever I wanted freely, well aside from the no no's on the list of things not to eat while growing a little one in your belly, but I ate, whatever I wanted. I didn't count calories or damn points and you know what, I didn't gain all that much weight. I gained 25 pounds which I thought was pretty reasonable considering all the ice cream shakes I had devoured during those nine months. I felt free of guilt. I loved when people would want to rub my belly and I wore the tightest of shirts because for once my gut was something to be proud of like a trophy. I was so happy. I felt amazing and I think the glow was from how proud of felt of my body and the miracle of life it was creating.
Fast forward almost 11 months later and I am back to feeling like crap about my body. It's awful. My body has not bounced back to the way that it used to look like and even though I weigh less then I did when I got pregnant, but shape is just not right. My gut, before baby bulged below my belly button, but now a days it begins to pop just underneath my boobs. Dresses had once been a staple in my wardobe. Now if I even dare try them on, I look as though I am still pregnant.
With that said I would like to spend the rest of the year trying to just eat more healthy and commit to walking. I will do this without getting on the scale though. I don't know why I am a slave to a number. I have wasted so much of my older years dreaming of being 120 pounds. NEWS FLASH TO SELF: YOU WILL NEVER BE 120. YOU HAVE TRIED FOR OVER 14 YEARS TO GET TO THAT PLACE ADN ITS JUST NOT HAPPENING.
So, in order to have a more complete self, I will begin to focus on health rather than the scale.
Beginning on April 7, 2014 I will focus on the way my clothes feel rather than the scale. I will commit to this task in order to feel more complete!