Hello is this thing on...

It has been a long time since my last post.
I am here.
We are ok.

I have debated on continuing to write in the space and I do miss it. I miss having something to write my thoughts. I ran out of time to write though. I will make a commitment to write here again, but with more purpose.

It amazes me that the post that has been read the most was a simple recipe that I randomly post with the most horrific pictures.

again this is just so random.

it also surprises me to see that a lot of my traffic comes from back home. What up Massachusetts.

Currently

Time: 8:57 am

Day: Tuesday, 10/13/2015

Reading: The Naked Eye

Watching: Sopranos, Season 4

Wearing: Tank tops and shorts in this long heat wave

Craving: Chinese food from back east like chicken fingers and crab ragoon

Listening: Madonna's Immaculate Collection (Material Girl on repeat for my little one)

Creating: A bird costume

Cooking: Easy meals that don't involve the oven

Wishing: I will feel better soon. I have an insane sore throat that went away for a day then came back

A month and a life time ago

                         

When the idea of moving to California first came up, I was almost half joking about it. My  husband and I were sitting on the couch after a long day and we were talking about his upcoming vacation week. We tossed around some ideas about what we should do; take some day trips, go to the beach, etc. 

Husband: "We should fly out to Cali". 

Me: "I would rather move to Cali then fly out to Cali". 

That was the birth of our moving story and here we are. 

One month into living in Southern California. 

      

 Everyone talks about how great the weather is. It is true. The fact that I am writing this post poolside because it is 86 degrees outside is awesome. From a stay at home mom perspective living in a place that you will never be stuck in the house for a whole month because there is feet of snow outside is very welcoming. This will be the first year that our daughter will be able to wear her Halloween costume without having to cover it up with a heavy jacket. She will also be able to actually go trick or treating in a neighborhood walking from house to house because it is safe to do that where we are living now. This will be the first year ever that on my birthday (in November) we could do something outside since it won't be freezing out. Even though it is suppose to be cold for Christmas the fact that we will be surrounded by family means our hearts won't be so cold and lonely this year like in years past. 

So, things are getting back to somewhat normal around here. We are finding a groove. I plan to get back to posting regularly as it serves as an outlet for my thoughts and helps to give me a spark for my creative life. So look for some more posts coming up soon. 

It's official

We are headed to California!

My husband got the position and we are scrambling to get things done and organized for our move in less than 11 days!!!

I am having quite the mix of feelings. I am happy and excited but at the same time I am sad and feeling nostalgic about leaving my home town. I have lived here for 39 years. It is all that I know.

I will miss:

• my family & friends. I have a small number of real friends and it hurts to think about having to start that process of finding a friend scary and very anxiety inducing. 
• my culture. I will miss that the area that I live in is heavily influenced by the Portuguese culture. I could grab whatever food that I grew up eating at any time by simply driving down the street to the local market or restaurant. I may have to break my Whole30 short to enjoy some of it before I leave. 
• my independence. I love that at any time I can simply get into my car and go. I know these streets and I am comfortable going out alone on any journey. I will miss that ability of knowing where I am at all times. 

Today I woke up ambivalent about the whole thing. I know it is the right move for me and my family but the ending of this chapter of my life makes me feel a bit sad. I can't help that. 

But, never having to worry about shoveling or falling on snow and ice again makes me very very happy!!!

Moving Across the Country

Lately it seems that I have been just walking in circles. I find myself always at the starting line of something new and exciting only to meet many detours. This week things seem to be going more smoothly and in a straight line. I can see the finish line and that motivates me to continue this journey.

In January of this year, my family and I decided to move to California. I am currently a stay at home mom so the thought of relocating for me was not going to be a major move in the way of changing jobs or anything of that nature. My husband, on the other hand needed to find a position to transfer to in Southern California. His job (he is an account manager for a major US product) does not offer transfers to their employees. Instead he had to wait for a position opened up and apply for it even though he has worked for the company for over 15 years. To say that this has been a frustrating road block would be a major understatement. He has applied to several positions, none of which were what he was currently doing and has not landed a job. Yet.

The last seven months has been a waiting game. The limbo of not knowing where we will be makes it quite challenging to make plans. I haven't been able make any future planning with friends, for vacations or family trips. I haven't been able to make any major or minor purchases for the house because the constant thinking of how I will move it across the country always crosses my mind.

I think because I have been so wrapped up in these thoughts that I have not really given much thought of what a huge change it will be for me. I was born and raised in the city that I live in now. I have never lived anywhere else.

This is all I know.

My life is here. I have my friends here. I started my career here. I have my doctors here. I know these roads and feel comfortable going anywhere.

It seems as though (positive thinking here) that a job may be closer now than in the past seven months. My thoughts on moving have shifted from thinking of it in the abstract to much more concrete thinking. Like my stomach kinda hurts thinking about it sort of way.

I have visited SoCal a few times over the years. I appreciate that it is always sunny in southern California, but honestly, I love rain. I will miss the rain more than I think anyone will know. Rain to me helps me to take a break and also, for some reason, sparks my creativity. I also enjoy the seasons. I like the fact that in the winter it might snow. I like the image of snowflakes falling on Christmas eve. One year we spent the holidays in Cali and it was just odd to me. It was odd to wear a t-shirt outside while it was 80 degrees on Christmas Day. I mean, Santa must be a hot mess by the time he gets to Cali, right?!

I spent last night at one of my friends house's. It was nice. It was comfortable and relaxing. We had dinner. We chatted. We watched a movie together. When it was over I just got in my car and headed home. I realized that may be one of the last times that I will just hang out with her, laughing and talking about the latest celebrity scandal. I have been to her houses many times since January, but last night felt different. Perhaps it is some sixth sense.

I accept that I will be sad about moving, but it is a move that will be good for me and for my family.

I expect that things will be different. I anticipate crying about my loss of "independence". I also know that things will be better. I know that during the holidays we will not be just a family of three eating Christmas meal together but rather a family of over 20 huddled together laughing and celebrating. I know that others will care about watching my daughter grow up into a little girl and that they want to be a part of it so badly.

This is a good thing for me, for us.

Some of my greatest achievements have come after a big change.

California.
I am ready to move.

Whole30 and the results are in

I finished my first round of Whole30.
It was an amazing journey.
I had no idea how the 30 days were going to pan out. I knew that it would be challenging and I hoped that I would lose some weight, but what I did not realize was how I was going to feel during the last two weeks while on the program. I felt amazing. Actually I think the word amazing is not even enough of an adjective to express what I felt like. Allow me to explain.

Above you can see that I lost a lot of weight and inches. I am glad that I took the first photo because I would not have believed how different I would have looked in 30 short days. I learned to think of food in a different way. I learned to read labels with a different thought process and clearly I have learned that we really are what we eat. When you eat like crap you feel like crap.

During the Whole30 after the initial week of headaches and tiredness grumpiness I felt incredible. I had an abundant amount of energy. I could literally feel my blood cells breathing in and out. I did not want to sit still. I wanted to get up and move. I walked. I danced. Most importantly I smiled. A lot. It is hard to explain, but I could feel my insides smiling.

I ended my 30 days on Friday and since then I have not been eating Whole30 compliant. I haven't been eating terrible, but I have had a hot dog or too and a grinder. I will say that I have noticed a change already in my mood. So much so that I will start my second round of Whole30 next monday. Originally I was going to wait until August, but I want to get closer to my goal weight 125 sooner rather than later and I want to smile from the inside out again.

I would love to hear from you!
Have you completed the program?
Have you done a second round?
How did you feel the second round?

Whole30: Garlicky Tomato Shrimp Recipe

While diving into the world of Whole30, I have been able to remain consistent and satisfied with what I am eating because I have been eating pretty much things that I enjoy. I am not really feeling all that deprived. Today I want to share with you one of my most favorite foods to eat at this moment.

Shrimp is something that I have found is super easy to make and since I am the only one in my house that actually eats seafood I buy a bag of some wild caught from my local grocery's freezer section and I cook what I need for the day and save the rest for another day. They are easy to defrost quickly (and safely of course). For the sake of this recipe I will instruct on how to cook a large batch.

What you need:

Shrimp, I buy the large size 25-35 in a one pound bag with the peel deveined
1 tbsp of minced garlic
2 tbsp of tomato paste
3 tbsp of coconut oil
1/2 tbsp of black pepper
1/2 tbsp of onion powder
1/2 tbsp of basil dry

What to do:

Defrost your shrimp. I usually place my bag in a large pot with cold water. It doesn't take too long to defrost.
In a large pot heat coconut oil at medium heat. Coconut oil can be sensitive and may smoke quickly so be sure to watch your stove. Once the oil is warmed up a bit place place your defrosted shrimp in it. Be sure to rinse and pat them dry before you do this to make sure that they are clean. As the shrimp are cooking place all the dry seasonings in it along with the garlic. Mix it up to ensure that all the shrimp are seasoned well. Once the shrimp turn pink, about 6 minutes. Mix in the tomato paste. Cook for about two minutes as you continuously stir the shrimp around to evenly coat.

I like the shrimp with the peel because all the flavor gets stuck onto it which makes it so good, but it does tend to get messy since you have to use your fingers. Trust me though it is worth it. I have made this before without the peel and it was not as tasty.

Enjoy!